Friday, September 16, 2005
JUST FINISHED OWNING THE FUCK OUT OF 5 PANCAKES AND 1/2 GALLON OF MILK
YES, I AM CARBO LOADING FOR THE HIPPITY HOP OLYMPICS TOMORROW MORNING.
NO YOU WILL NOT KNOCK OFF THE DEFENDING CHAMPION OF THE 100 YD HIPPITY HOP HURDLES.
REC SPECS: CHECK
HEADBAND: CHECK
KNIGHT RIDER TANK TOP: CHECK (YES YOU CAN SEE MY RIPPED ABS)
LARRY BIRD ERA SHORTS: CHECK
HIPPITY HOP: CHECK, CUSTOM MADE FOR MY SLEEK 245LBS (YOU CAN'T AFFORD)
AFTER THE GAMES I WILL BE SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS AT DAIRY QUEEN, GETTING HANDSY WITH THE HELP AND OWNING THE FUCK OUT OF A PEANUT BUSTER PARFAIT.
NO YOU CAN'T HAVE THE KANSAS CITY ROYALS HELMET IT COMES IN.
MRH,
DOPE AS FUCK. IN TRAINING.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
JUST OWNED THE FUCK OUT OF A BIG MOUSE AT CHUCK E CHEESE
DUMB ASS RAT STEPPED TO ME WHILE I WAS GETTING MY SKI BALL ROLL ON.
D/N/T.
TOOK THAT MOUSE OUT WITH MY SWINGING WINDMILL FISTS.
DUMBASS DROPPED LIKE A SACK OF POTATOES.
I CALMLY STEPPED OVER THE BODY, WALKED TO THE GENERAL STORE AND REDEEMED MY TICKETS FOR A BAG OF COTTON CANDY, A COKE ICEE, AND A HANDFUL OF PIXIE STICKS. (DO YOU THINK I DIDN'T OWN THE FUCK OUT OF MY LOOT?)
NEXT I'M GOING TO GET MY GAME ON WITH THE HONEYS IN THE CAGE OF PLASTIC BALL.
NO I WILL NOT REMOVE MY VELCRO ROOS.
MRH,
WILL ALSO BEAT YOU DOWN WITH THE WHACK-A-MOLE HAMMER.
D/N/T.
TOOK THAT MOUSE OUT WITH MY SWINGING WINDMILL FISTS.
DUMBASS DROPPED LIKE A SACK OF POTATOES.
I CALMLY STEPPED OVER THE BODY, WALKED TO THE GENERAL STORE AND REDEEMED MY TICKETS FOR A BAG OF COTTON CANDY, A COKE ICEE, AND A HANDFUL OF PIXIE STICKS. (DO YOU THINK I DIDN'T OWN THE FUCK OUT OF MY LOOT?)
NEXT I'M GOING TO GET MY GAME ON WITH THE HONEYS IN THE CAGE OF PLASTIC BALL.
NO I WILL NOT REMOVE MY VELCRO ROOS.
MRH,
WILL ALSO BEAT YOU DOWN WITH THE WHACK-A-MOLE HAMMER.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
JUST JUMPED OFF THE PORCH WITH A HEFTY STEEL SAK PARACHUTE. SKINNED MY KNEE
JUST FLOATED DOWN ONTO THE LAWN HOLDING THE CINCH SAK STRINGS.
THE DOG CHASED ME DOWN AND I HAD TO ABORT THE LANDING.
YES I WAS WEARING MY PAPIER MACHE HELMET.
YES IT SAVED MY LIFE.
YES I WILL SOLO JUMP AGAIN RIGHT AFTER I OWN THE FUCK OUT OF 3 ICE CREAM SANDWHICHES AND A CAN OF CANADA DRY.
HOW IS THAT BACK AFTER 10 HOURS IN YOUR SHITTY OFFICE CHAIR?
MRH,
WILL BE MAJESTICALLY FLOATING DOWN FROM THE SECOND FLOOR WINDOW SHORTLY. DIGTBK
THE DOG CHASED ME DOWN AND I HAD TO ABORT THE LANDING.
YES I WAS WEARING MY PAPIER MACHE HELMET.
YES IT SAVED MY LIFE.
YES I WILL SOLO JUMP AGAIN RIGHT AFTER I OWN THE FUCK OUT OF 3 ICE CREAM SANDWHICHES AND A CAN OF CANADA DRY.
HOW IS THAT BACK AFTER 10 HOURS IN YOUR SHITTY OFFICE CHAIR?
MRH,
WILL BE MAJESTICALLY FLOATING DOWN FROM THE SECOND FLOOR WINDOW SHORTLY. DIGTBK
Monday, September 12, 2005
JUST STRIPPED DOWN TO MY UNDERWEAR AND DID 100 SOMERSAULTS ON THE LAWN
LIMBER AS FUCK.
WORKED UP A GOOD SWEAT.
NOW I'M OWNING THE FUCK OUT OF A BAG OF YORK PEPPERMINT PATTIES, 2 OCEANSPRAY CRANAPPLE JUCIE BOXES AND A HANDFUL OF CRAISINS (YES, CRAISINS.)
ENJOY YOUR DAY ANGLING FOR THAT PROMOTION.
MRH,
A+ IN GYM 5 YEARS RUNNING.
WORKED UP A GOOD SWEAT.
NOW I'M OWNING THE FUCK OUT OF A BAG OF YORK PEPPERMINT PATTIES, 2 OCEANSPRAY CRANAPPLE JUCIE BOXES AND A HANDFUL OF CRAISINS (YES, CRAISINS.)
ENJOY YOUR DAY ANGLING FOR THAT PROMOTION.
MRH,
A+ IN GYM 5 YEARS RUNNING.
